I’m back to work in the Parish this week but Mrs T and I have just been on holiday. Off we went to Normandy with our three little boys leaving the rest of the flora and fauna in the safe care of our excellent neighbours.

I don’t know about you but when we are on holiday we normally take about half of it to unwind, another quarter to actually relax, and the last quarter to get ready to re-enter orbit. This time, however, we were ready to go from day one. 

Because tourism has been hit in France because of recent events, we joined a smaller than usual group of families at Le Castel in Cerisy La Salle - a wonderful family hotel near the much larger and grander Chateau Cerisy, home of the famously intellectual Cerisy Conferences.

Le Castel is designed with young families in mind and spread out on the lawn behind the main house is a trampoline, games tent, bouncy castle and much more.

That meant that for the adults the mornings could be invested in important creative pursuits such as eating (croissants), drinking (coffee) and reading while the children looked after themselves. 

The afternoons similarly featured much relaxation avec moules and cidre but apres la plage and after a nap, the long evenings a riot of fun, children-putting-to-bedding, and then more feasting and mingling with the other lucky guests, from Amsterdam, Zurich, and Hampstead respectively.

As we were settling into the second half of this holiday, about midway through the second book, I asked myself the same question I always ask at that stage into the break - why can’t life always be like this? Why can’t I be this laid back at home? Why when, I go back to Chingford, will I fall right out of all the nice little habits I developed on holiday? 

I think I must be in the habit of not forming good habits. I know what I want to do but I never seem to be able to do it, to paraphrase St Paul. 

Turning off the phone. Not obsessively checking the email. Eschewing the box for a good book. Such lovely, important, and worthwhile questions. And yet as I sit here, six hours into my first day back have I picked up that last unfinished spy thriller? Have I gone to bed nice and early? Have I turned off the phone in the evening? Not a chance. I sing to my emails with Frank Sinatra ‘You’ve got me in your clutches and I can’t break free. You’re getting to be a habit with me’.

What we spend time thinking about and doing each day - our habits - ultimately forms what kind of people we become. Small everyday things build up over time to form habits, and habits, over time, are what make up our character.

It is worth paying attention to what we do when we are really relaxed and at ease. How can we build this into the busyness of everyday life? Into the school run; arriving in from work; arranging the weekend. How can we improve how we do these little tasks to keep those holiday habits alive? And what are the back-at-home habits we want to kick?

Science says we must be clear about what you want and visualise success; setting achievable goals; rewarding your progress at regular intervals, starting small, and building on successes. 

But it is hard though, as I’ve already found this week. Small everyday things never seem that significant in the moment even if they build up over time. 

I’m not convinced there is a scientific solution actually. And to boot - the evidence provided by Mrs T - a psychologist - suggests that habits take more than the fabled 21 days to develop - probably more like 66, which is a long time to be good! More devastatingly the boffins also say that the first few days are the most important. Ah. Not good news for me then. 

Perhaps another holiday is needed so I can start again from scratch? I could even make a habit of it.